For your personal development

Here is some general advice for your personal development. You may or may not agree with me on one or more points listed here. The context provided here is my personal opinion only.

Be a human

Sure, we have been trained for years to become an engineer, which is tempting us to see ourselves differently. Down in the gene, however, we are all human.

Being a human is a gift and a disaster at the same time. On the one hand, we are the most intelligent animal (as far as we know) living on earth. We are privileged to have the single biggest impact on the future of the world we are living in. We are so powerful to shape the future! On the other hand, we are so helpless in many situations where the social and/or ecological environment easily outpowers us.

Finding our peace in such a dynamic world is thus an ever-increasing challenge especially in this experience age. I can’t say what we need to do with this respect as we are all struggling with the same thing. However, the following tips might help and I highly recommend practising them.

Being polite means being aware of and respecting the feelings of other people. We may not always notice politeness but we usually notice rudeness or inconsiderate behaviour. Good manners cost nothing but can make a big difference to how other people feel about you, or the organisation you are representing. When you’re polite and show good manners others are more likely to be polite and courteous in return. - from www.skillsyouneed.com.

The following are the most important tips copied from this website:

Say hello to people – greet people appropriately, gain eye contact and smile naturally, shake hands or hug where appropriate but say hello, especially to colleagues and other people you see every day. Be approachable. Do not blank people just because you’re having a bad day.
Try to remember things about the other person and comment appropriately – use their spouse’s name, their birthday, any significant events that have occurred (or are about to occur) in their life. Always be mindful of others’ problems and difficult life events.
Always use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. Make sure you thank people for their input or contribution and always include ‘please’ when asking for something. If somebody offers you something use ‘Yes please’ or ‘No thank you’.
Praise and/or congratulate others on their achievements. Praise needs to be seen as genuine – this can be difficult if you feel jealous or angry.
At work be polite and helpful to your subordinates as well as your bosses. Respect and acknowledge the positions, roles and duties of others.
Use appropriate language – be respectful of gender, race, religion, political viewpoints and other potentially controversial or difficult subjects. Do not make derogatory or potentially inflammatory comments.
Learn to listen attentively - pay attention to others while they speak – do not get distracted mid-conversation and do not interrupt.
Respect other people’s time. Try to be precise and to-the-point in explanations without appearing to be rushed.
Be assertive when necessary but respect the right of others to be assertive too. (See our pages on Assertiveness for more.)
Avoid gossip. Try to have positive things to say about other people.
Apologise for your mistakes. If you say or do something that may be considered rude or embarrassing then apologise, but don’t overdo your apologies.
Respect, and be prepared to listen to, the ideas and opinions of others.
Dress appropriately for the situation. Avoid wearing revealing clothing in public and avoid staring at others who are wearing revealing clothing. Avoid being dressed too casually for the situation.
Be punctual. If you have arranged to meet somebody at a certain time make sure you are on time, or even a few minutes early. If you are going to be late let the other person/people know as far in advance as you can. Do not rely on feeble or exaggerated excuses to explain lateness. Respect other people’s time and don’t waste it.

The following are some more tips that are important in my own opinion.

Acknowledgement. Whenever you received something, including a message, acknowledge it.
Help others to help you. Lending a helping hand to others in need is a great way to show your care about others. Helping others may sometimes bring you benefits but that is not really the point. You can at least have a good mood because you made someone else’s day. For example, we never expect any returns for holding a closing door for people right behind us.

Being polite and practising good manners can at least help us to foster a peaceful tiny environment around us. This will positively contribute to finding our inner peace.

Stay foolish and stay hungry

As stated in Steve Job’s 2005 commencement address at Stanford University-“Stay hungry. Stay foolish.” There are so many things we know absolutely nothing about.

We, as individuals, also cannot know where others come from, what they have experienced, and what their struggles are. Stay foolish. Do not judge too much.

Keep growing a little bit every day and you will be a giant! The specialised educations we are getting today usually focus on a certain set of skills (speciality). It is especially easy for engineering schools to ignore the training needed for a person’s internal growth. I highly recommend to read at least one GOOD book that is not relevant to your studies at all but fascinates you every year. Stay hungry!

Keep fit

Like it or not, you need to work out regularly to keep your body in shape and ensure you have the energy required for your life. Plus, regular exercise can improve your mood, your sleep, your social life, etc. However, do not overdo it.

Stay strong

Lastly, but most importantly, stay strong. We should always look forward to better times in dark days. And indeed, “what does not kill you makes stronger”. We only have one life, so cherish it, experience it, and enjoy it.

For your career development

The following contexts are more relevant to your career development but are also essential for your personal life.

Communication skills

Communicating with others is what we are doing on daily basis. There are two aspects to effective communication.

First, have a good grasp of the common languages is vital. In this globalising world, being able to communicate in both Mandarin and English is a minimal requirement for us. I recommend all my students to improve both their Mandarin and English proficiency through constantly listening to and reading good articles, and writing up short paragraphs.
Second, communication also needs skills. It is worth checking out Noneviolente Communication.

Time management

You may find yourself constantly being distracted from your study in this information explosion era not only because of new tasks assigned to you, friends seeking support from you but also all sorts of information flying around, which may or may not concern you. This situation sadly will be even worse when you get into the work environment.

Train yourself to manage your time effectively and being able to refocus on your duties after distractions are the skills that you need to build up as a matter of urgency. Some tips on this include planning ahead for everything and using a to-do list management app (such as 滴答清单).